literature

A fighting darkness. - Entry for StarWars4ever

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Literature Text

A fighting darkness.

An acidic raindrop burned down his neck, another one dripped slowly down his forehead making him shiver.  Something was pulling the warm comfort of the force from his body, making him feel naked to the harsh conditions around him. He bit his lip slightly, feeling a small amount of blood seep through his teeth, tasting the rusty iron like flavour flow across his tongue.
The skies above his singular shadow opened, showering his shoulders with the tears of those fallen before him. He knew he was getting closer; he could sense the discomfort within her body, the sweat that was so obviously slipping down her face. He took in a deep breath of the rich, water soaked air that surrounded him and watched drops of dew slice through the leaves.
His hand reached for his sabre slowly, feeling the grip slice through his hand as he gripped it. Water made the handle slippery and ice cold as he walked through the ever-growing darkness.
“I know you’re here my dear” he called out, igniting his sabre and showing the fire in his eyes. The light showed a pair of bright blue-grey eyes, crisp auburn hair soaked from the acidic rain and a small smirk etching its way through his trimmed beard. “I can feel your presence, the sweat that numbs your vision” he continued calling out to the darkness.
The sound of a pebble scattering across the floor made his ears prick, the sound echoed around the ceramic dome, even though the water was pouring through the ceiling. He heard a laughter echoing around, shivers raced up his spine as he continued to walk. The hairs on his neck rose; his throat became stuck as he tried to swallow.
“Kenobi, would you kill yourself, your brother or your lover?” a voice spoke out through the darkened shadows, the sound of footsteps surrounding him. A sabre ignited from behind him, the corner of his eye caught a glimmer of red shining towards his eyes.
“Only if I didn’t have control over my mind” Obi Wan said quietly, turning around to be faced with the red eyes from his deep nightmares. Her red hair blew softly in the wind; the rain soaked the base of her dress, dripped slowly down the side of her pale face. “Hello Manizra”.
“And if you were in control and they were trying to kill you?” Manizra continued, keeping her red eyes fixed on Obi Wan’s face.
“Then I would do what I must”.
“Good”.
She ran at him, feeding her anger around her and swinging her sabre towards him. He lifted his lightsaber quickly and blocked her swing, feeling the weight of her power build up on his body. His knees wanted to crack, sweat dripped down his forehead as he held back the dark power.
Quickly he forced pushed her back from him and retreated, bringing the oxygen back into his lungs. Swinging his sabre towards her, he caught the sith lord off guard and had her on the defence, forcing her further back. His sabre skimmed her dress, leaving a burn in her skirt, she hissed towards him and quickly kicked him in the face. Obi Wan felt her foot collide with his mouth, feeling blood weld up in his mouth. He spat it out and wiped his mouth of the blood, staring towards Manizra with fixed eyes. “Obi Wan?” a sweet voice spoke, giving him shivers. A hand touched his face; it was smooth but cold, shocking his blood. “Would you kill your lover then” Manizra called out, making Obi Wan turn around and force push her from him.
“Your not Satine” Obi Wan growled, swinging his sabre at her and watching her block it and force him off her. Manizra kicked him again and forced him back into the wall behind him making him smack his head. Lights popped in his eyes as she lifted her hand and gripped his neck with the force, cutting off all oxygen supply to his lungs. He wanted to scream, his chest was stretching with pain as his eyes closed and nothing else was seen.
Please review:squee:
This is my contest entry for the group #StarWars4Ever for their opposites contest, I know it's not exactly the best thing I've written ^^; but I like it still (Kind of) :D

Because I used an OC I have to explain why they are opposite to Obi Wan. This character is...quite hard to explain. Basically Manizra is a sith lord from my story series who wants revenge on Obi Wan after about 32 years in hiding. She is opposite to him because whilst he wants peace and uses his voice for negotiating, she is fueled by revenge and violence. She also likes to torture him a lot

Enjoy :happybounce:
© 2013 - 2024 PurpleWillowTrees
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SvalaW's avatar
Thank you so much for submitting this work to #StarWars4Ever's Opposites contest.

It's a thrilling entry and the concept of confronting Obi-Wan with his lover, brother, and friends is a really good idea.
Sadly, it's so short.^^ (I want to know what happens next.)

The description of the surroundings at beginning is very good and it continues to be good, even when the action starts. But then sadly it lacks descriptions of the characters and thus the contrast somehow isn't strong enough. As reader you get that their are long-term enemies, but you always want to know more. ;)

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